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On the lighter side..."A cheerful heart is the health of the body."* *Proverbs 17:22 Do you have a joke or a first person humorous story that you would feel comfortable telling your grandmother? E-mail it to us at sfccr@slip.net Go to bottom of this page for a listing of books on humor available at our on-line bookstore, Amazon.com..

The Pastor, a pious man, enjoyed a few drinks, but his passion was for peach brandy. His brother, with whom he had an on-going rivalry since childhood, would make him a bottle each year for his birthday. On his birthday one year, the priest went to visit his brother, hoping for his usual present. He was not disappointed; although, he had to agree to thank him for it from the pulpit at Mass.

The next Sunday, seeing his brother in the front pew, the priest suddenly realized that his brother had tricked him into making a public announcement that might offend some of his parishioners. His brother was grinning from ear to ear, ready to enjoy the anticipated embarrassment.

The priest entered the pulpit, smiled, looked at his brother and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my brother, Mike, for his kind gift of peaches and for the spirit in which they were given!"

Rrecently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a non-denominational billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included seventeen different messages from God: 1. Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game - God 2. C'mon Over And Bring The Kids - God 3. What Part of "Thou Shalt Not..." Didn't You Understand? - God 4. We Need To Talk - God 5. Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer - God 6. Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage - God 7. That "Love Thy Neighbor" Thing, I Meant It. - God 8. I Love You...I Love You...I Love You... - God 9. Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place? - God 10. Follow Me. - God 11. Big Bang Theory? You've Got To Be Kidding. - God 12. My Way Is The Highway. - God 13. Need Directions? - God 14. You Think It's Hot Here? - God 15. Tell The Kids I Love Them. - God 16. Need a Marriage Counselor? I'm Available. - God 17. Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test. - God

Sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City, two Jewish men were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish--the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe. A waiter, who was obviously Chinese, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them "if everything was okay" and could he "bring them anything else."

The Jewish men were dumbfounded. "Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both thought. After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend, "Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?" The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said, "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."

Overheard at the coffee shop—Men are all the same. God only gives them different faces so we can tell them apart.

groaners…

1. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No they had an apple.

2. What didn’t Adam and Eve have that everyone else has. A belly button

3. What does everyone have two of except Adam and Eve. Parents

4. Who was the first nuclear scientist? Eve—she knew all about atom (Adam).

5. Why was Adam known to be a good runner? He was first in the Human race.

There are groaners galore in the Biggest Riddle Book in the World (1976--$5.95) by Joseph Rosenbloom available in our on-line book store Amazon.com by clicking on the blue. We also recommend A Treasury of Mom, Pop, & Kids' Humor (1997--$12.95) Edited by James E. Myers or 1001 Great Jokes (1992--$4.79) by Jeff Revin

Read other articles in theFebruary 1999 edition of the San Francisco Charismatics or return to the Main Menu by clicking on the blue.